Plan B is the new Plan A
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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