I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
