Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
