doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
