I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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