Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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