One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
