love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
