Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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