my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
