Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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