they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
