im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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