When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
