I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
