think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
