He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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