Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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