I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
