Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
