Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I need a beard to bite.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Never joke about your clitoris.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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