party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize