Kiss
Puke
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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