i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize