my soul wont recognize me after tonight
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
