i barfeds in our rink
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
