theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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