Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize