I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
