Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize