No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
