JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
