Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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