I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
