We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
