problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
