But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
