dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
