so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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