i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
