I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
