so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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