Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
