It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
