States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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