Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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