If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
