i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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