Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
