my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
you have to choose: penises or morals?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
