so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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