Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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