When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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