Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize