Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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