The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I deserve this hangover.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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