Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
