Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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