Too much gin, very little bucket
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
