I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
