We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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