you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
