he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
