i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
