Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
