Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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